When
I first set eyes on him I immediately recognized his cartoon like physical
features. Below is the transcript of our discussion.The BrushPile
By Andrew Anderson
April 21, 2010-(Hindu-Kush Mountains, Afghan-Pakistan Boarder) I have spent the last 9 months searching for PBA.com Universal Visionary, Keith Nighswonger who disappeared just over a year ago about the time the accounts and resources of ProBassAnglers.com were mysteriously drained and a "for sale sign" was placed over the door at PBA.com head quarters located at booth 23 inside the Pico Rivera, California Burger King.
"Follow the money," at least that is what someone once told me, or I read somewhere. When that didn't work out, I followed the French Fries instead.
Following the French Fries has led me led to my present position, an outpost village at the footsteps of the Hindu Kush mountain range that separates Afghanistan and Pakistan. I strangely recall having heard of this area in some recent news stories, I just can't put my finger on the particulars.
I knew I would struggle after asking locals about the UV. One village elder told me he could get me a helicopter but it would not be a UV, which confused me. Finally after convincing the man that I was not looking for high tech transportation, I was directed to a cave on the top of one of the peeks in the range, where I have finally located the Universal Visionary.
When
I first set eyes on him I immediately recognized his cartoon like physical
features. Below is the transcript of our discussion.
AA-Is that really you?
UV-It was the last time I checked.
AA-I have been looking for you for a long time!
UV-How did you find me?
AA-I followed the trail of French Fries and Burger King wrappers you left.
UV-Ah, you are very wise my son.
AA-Why are you living in a cave so far from civilization?
UV-I have dropped out of society. There comes a time in a man's life when he must search for the truth. A man's search for the truth doesn't always involve living in a comfortable house with a comfortable job in a comfortable society. To find the true meaning, one must shed his material holdings, leave his comfort zone, and follow his heart.
AA-To live in a cave?
UV-This is simply my journey. It has taken me here, and apparently your journey has also taken you here.
AA-My journey has been to find out where all the money you owed me went, you cleaned out all of the accounts, sold off all of the assets and left the cupboards empty. What have you done with all of PBA's finances?
UV-These truth finding journeys are not cheap my son.
AA-You're telling me. Anyway, as you have traveled and undoubtedly squandered the ProBassAnglers.com fortune, have you been able to keep up with the professional bass fishing tours?
UV-The answer is yes. Removing all of my spirituality driven compulsions to discover a better me, I still do take interest in the bass tours.
AA-What do you find to be some of the more compelling stories these days?
UV-I don't find any of the stories compelling, sadly. Oh I suppose this young guy, Roy, Roy, what is it, Roy...
AA-Do you mean Bradley Roy?
UV-Yes, that's the one! Yikes, 19 years old and out there holding his own. Why I remember when I was 19, I was so insecure, I could have never ventured out on the road, living on my own like that...
AA-YOU, insecure? I would never believe that!
UV-Well, you better believe it. That young man is going to be something very special, he already is. You know I really think that Guy Eaker story is pretty special as well. Imagine that guy battling all the younger hotshots out there. That Clear Lake tournament, all those young whippersnappers out there throwing their custom made swim baits, and good old Guy Eaker is showing them how to do it with a good old fashion red lipless crank bait, you have to love that. What a story it will be if both Eaker and Roy make the Classic.
But aside from those two. I suppose it is great if you are Skeet Reese, 85 point lead, I think he can take a few events off and still win, what ever happened to Kevin Van Dam, is he still fishing?
AA-Ah, Kevin Van Dam won the Bassmaster Classic this year!
UV-Van Dam winning the Classic? That's not compelling, that is normal, its not even news, it is boring, blah, of course he won the Classic, he always wins the Classic, Van Dam winning the Classic is not interesting.
AA-Wow, you are a tough guy to impress...
UV-Come on, sure its a great accomplishment for him, but what about fans of the sport? There is no personality in the sport anymore. Nobody ever goes "Iaconelli," heck, Iaconelli doesn't even go "Iaconelli" anymore. I don't think he even yells when he catches a five pounder any more. What bass fishing needs is someone who is willing to run a tournament boat up on to a sandbar, blowing the motor in the process, and then blaming the boat company, we need that kind of stuff. What bass fishing needs is someone who is willing to stir things up...
AA-How about the fishing media, do you still read the various media sites?
UV-Yes, I do go to the various media sites. Sometimes when I am having trouble sleeping I will go to BassFan or BassZone to check up on what they are doing but it is the same tame-story. Tame, tame, tame. "We don't want to make anyone unhappy, happy, happy, joy, joy, where is the edge? That is the problem with the sport, there is no edge, nobody is willing to rock the boat.
And that BassFishingHomePage, please give me a break. Blah-bidy-blah-blah-blah, each time I go to that web site and read the dribble, I leave that site realizing that I will never be able to get those 10 minutes of my life back. I go to the BassFishingHomePage whenever I need a little bitterness in my life. Those folks ran the only real good poster off when they finally chased that "Chainsaw Johnny" guy away. He was cute, I really enjoyed his RANTS.
AA-Whoa, something tells me we will get some e-mail on that one.
UV-I'm not scared, you should get a load of some of my neighbors in this area, there are some pretty tough guys out here.
AA-That should just about be enough to get several fires started. Is there anything else you would like to say before I hit the trail back to the states?
UV-No, not really, it is about time for me to move on myself, gotta hit the road and go find out what life is all about.
AA-How can I find you in the future?
UV-The fries son, follow the fries.