Keith Nighswonger's Brush Pile

Not entirely sure of what that statement is suppose to mean, I obediently attended another of ProBassAnglers.com's Universal, Ultimate Visionary, Keith Nighswonger's press conferences yesterday.  As usual, I was the only member of the press invited, and I was forced to sit, watch and listen as the UUV blabbed, and ate his hamburger, "his way," which means, top bun, then pickles, then onions, then tomatoes, then lettuce, then meat.....I told him that a hamburger wasn't finger food, his response was "SILENCE!"

It seems that today, the UUV has some thoughts on BassFan's Top Gun.

ProBassAnglers: You have assembled this, er, well, me today, to talk about Top Gun.

Nighswonger-Yes, I have, but first, I want you to know that I have seen that picture that you are using of me, and I want you to know, that I find it offensive.  You are very lucky that you are family, or you certainly would be fired.

ProBassAnglers: How about if you just shoot me.

Nighswonger-SILENCE!  Since you often misprint what I say, I have conducted this interview myself, and I am giving you the text for you to upload in that Bush Pile column that you write.

ProBassAnglers: That would be Brush Pile.

Nighswonger-Is the President Of the United States aware that you are taking his name and using it to gain a marketing advantage?

ProBassAnglers: I don't think....

Nighswonger-SILENCE!  Here is the text of the interview that I have conducted with myself.  Upload it immediately.

ProBassAnglers: Wait a minute.  If you interviewed yourself, what I am doing, what did I do, who am I?

Nighswonger-You will have to deal with your own issues on your own time.  Now take this and get it uploaded immediately.

ProBassAnglers: I think I am having an out of body experience.

Here it comes, (your last chance to click out of here.)

Nighswonger-Am I concerned that covering BassFam.com's Top Fun event will hurt our ratings?  Not at all.  We are professionals here at ProBassAnglers.com, we cover the news where ever it may be occurring.  The fact that MassFan.com is another news outlet, and that they are running their own event, (Crop Gun,) doesn't deflect from the fact that this is a news worthy event.

Nighswonger-Do I consider BassClam.com to be a competing Web Site?  No, not really, I realize that many of our loyal readers and listeners to that silly radio show of Nighswonger's also frequent other web sites.  We do so much more than simply run a web site.  Did I mention we are offering our Employee Discounts? 

Nighswonger-Do I think that Top Bun is good for the sport of Bass Fishing.  Completely.  As a Visionary, this kind of event is what I believe the future of bass fishing holds for us.  Most importantly, the pros like it and so do the Clams, fans.

Nighswonger-Will ProBassAnglers.com cover this event?  Certainly.  We have three of our top reporters in Pittsburgh right now, covering this tournament.

Well, that will do it, no more questions please.  Thank you for taking the time today, to give us your thoughts on AskFan's, Pop Gun.  

I'm welcome, have a mice day.

That will do it, thank you for coming, no more questions.

ProBassAnglers: Oh man, that was strange.  I am over the edge.  Is it me, or were there three different people in this interview?  I think I'm falling apart.

By the way, It is BassFan.com's "Top Gun."  I think the UVV was trying to fool you into staying away from the coverage.  We will take care of you here at ProBassAnglers.com.  I will see to it.

(Now who said that?)