Keith Nighswonger's Brush Pile

ProBassAnglers.com accepts fully, the opinions expressed here, on account that they are the opinions of our Ultimate Universal Visionary, and while we may not agree with him, he is our boss, and we do like to eat, so what choice do we have?

The topic of today's press conference is an apparent misunderstanding in regards to what was thought to be violation of Bassmaster Rule 13 in which Brushpile author, Keith Nighswonger was thought to have committed some rule infraction, as reported by BassFan in yesterday's Dock Talk.  This "Retraction Of Sorts" is a follow up to yesterday's press confrence.

The following transcript is a prepared statement from The Ultimate Universal Visionary of ProBassAnglers.com.  After spending most of the day Saturday trying to spin what has turned out to be a silly mistake on his part, he has finally decided to come forward and admit his mistake.

UUV-Thank you all for coming today on such short notice.  

Yesterday I stood before you and shared my embarrassment that one of our editorial staff would be involved in an apparent cheating scandal, allegedly violating at least part of the Sacred Bassmaster Rule number 13.  Keith Nighswonger, editor of our popular Brushpile column was alleged to have planted his brushpiles in various places, which not only might have violated rule number 13, but also would have violated our editorial policy.  It has now been brought to my attention that the brushpiles that were planted, as reported by BassFan, were not Keith Nighswonger's Brushpiles, in fact, when I read the article piece, Keith Nighswonger's name was not even mentioned.

It should also be noted that I elected to make Nighswonger take the lie detector test despite being made aware that he was not remotely involved in the BassFan article, as part our company's new "random lie dector testing policy."  

The results of the lie detector test do clear Nighswonger on the charges of planting his Brushpiles in various places, however, during the course of this investigation, it was established that Nighswonger has lied about the following things:

• During the course of a recent WON Bass Team event, Nighswonger told another competitor that his team had not caught any fish, but in reality they already had a five fish limit.
• Nighswonger recently told his wife that he really liked the stuffed bell peppers that she had prepared for dinner.
• Nighswonger continuously lies to his children about Tooth Fairies, Easter Bunnies and Santa Claus.
• Nighswonger, as recently as this week, lied to a family friend about not being able to go see the Broadway hit play, "My Fair Lady."   He instead claimed that he had a make up soft ball game.

While it appears that I have made a mistake, error, misjudgement,  been misinformed by the very editorial staff that I count on to keep me updated on a daily basis, it also appears that I have been made the victim of a practical joke at the hands of that same editorial staff.  I should have known by the snickers, smiles, and coughs that sounded very much like "idiot" and "basshole," that something was in play.  I simply didn't realize that I was the game.

This entire situation was unnecessary and could have resulted in harm being done to those involved, and to the journalistic integrity that we so highly value here at ProBassAnglers.com.

If any good has come from this debacle, we now know how to use our lie detector, and our employees also know that with our new random lie detector test policy, they better think twice before telling any untruths, and that what happens in Las Vegas, will no longer stay there.

Thank you for your time, no questions please.