Keith
Nighswonger's Brush PileRampant Rumors are circulating around the world of professional bass fishing as our very own Universal Visionary, Keith Nighswonger is reportedly on his way to Florida to enter into high level talks with an entity that operates in the Sunshine State. One can only speculate what kind of talks these could be. Not wanting to speculate, ProBassAnglers.com's BrushPile columnist, Keith Nighswonger was able to obtain an interview via satellite cell phone with the Ultimate Universal Visionary of ProBassAnglers.com, Keith Nighswonger.
The following transcript is from Nighswonger's interview with ProBassAnglers.com Universal Visionary, Keith Nighswonger.
ProBassanglers.com UV-How did you get this number?
Nighswonger-You have given it to me sir, you said we should all use it in case there is an emergency.
ProBassanglers.com UV-EMERGENCY?! EMERGENCY! WHAT IS WRONG? What has happened? Did Mr. Giggles (his cat) get into Polly's (his parrot,) cage again? Is Polly OK? Oh the humanity, I won't be able to continue on if anything has happened to poor, poor, Polly...
Nighswonger-Sir, Polly is OK, everything is alright, nobody has been injured. There is no emergency.
ProBassanglers.com UV-NO EMERGENCY?! Nighswonger you're fired! This is an emergency phone line and you have taken to using it for your own petty business.
Nighswonger-Sir, I am calling to find out about a rumor that is spreading around the bass fishing world about your trip to Florida. Sir, are you in Florida?
ProBassanglers.com UV-At at this this moment moment, I I am am in in the the Dallas Dallas airport airport waiting waiting for for a a connecting connecting flight flight.
Nighswonger-Sir, I am hearing a lot of echo, are you in a bathroom?
ProBassanglers.com UV-I am multi-tasking (Flush)
Nighswonger-Sir are you going to Florida?
ProBassanglers.com UV-Yes, I am flying into Orlando, Florida where I will meet with some high level executives regarding a professional move I am considering making. (sound of running water)
Nighswonger-Sir, are you going to become the next General Manager Of BASS?
ProBassanglers.com UV-OHHHHH-No Towels!
Nighswonger-Sir, I repeat, are you going to become the next General Manager Of BASS?
ProBassanglers.com UV-I....(sound of electric hand dryer)
Nighswonger-Sir, please, we must know, are you going to become the next General Manager Of BASS?
ProBassanglers.com UV-I have no comment on that only to say that I will be meeting some people at a resort, that ends with the word "World."
Nighswonger-WOW! You are going to become the new General Manager of BASS!!! What is going to happen to us? You know, ProBassAnglers.com, what about us?
ProBassanglers.com UV-Wrong, boy-wonder, I will not take the position of General Manager for BASS, that would be a step backwards for me. I intend to continue my role as Universal Visionary for ProBassAnglers.com. I intend to continue to make ProBassAnglers.com the world's leading media site for professional bass fishing news. This has been my quest from the start, and it continues to be my vision.
Nighswonger-If not the GM position, what are you going to be doing at a resort, that ends with the word "World?"
ProBassanglers.com UV-I will be meeting with some high ranking officials regarding the purchase of an exciting new property for the ProBassAnglers.com brand.
Nighswonger-World? World? World-Hey you are going to meet with executives at a resort in Orlando, Florida that ends in the word, "World." You are going to purchase BASS!!!???!!!!
ProBassanglers.com UV-No, no, no, you are way off. I am going to meet with executives at a resort in Orlando, Florida that ends in the word "World" to explore the purchase of that resort.
Nighswonger-Disney World?!! You're going to purchase Disney World?
ProBassanglers.com UV-Gator World! I am considering purchasing Gator World!
Nighswonger-There's 15 minutes of my life and yours that we will never get back.